Category Archives: Humour

Bored Programmer Syndrome

When a programmer is bored he sometimes over-engineers and under-designs a project. We adopt an attitude like “well, if I have to do this in VS2005 and .NET 2.0 I may as well implement a service-locator and message bus and use all that technology I wanted to learn.

Larry Wall truthfully said the best virtues for a programmer are laziness, impatience and hubris. Sometimes you ignore these virtues when you get bored, you start to do stuff you know you shouldn’t, and your laziness doesn’t balance your hubris.

My new virtue that I’m going to work hard on is, ironically, laziness. 🙂 KISS is the new methodology for me to follow: Keep It Simple, Stupid for design, YAGNI: You Aren’t Gonna Need It for architecture.

I’m a PC

In honour of my new computer, some of the quality issues in recent computers and the Apple Get A Mac Ads I had an idea for a new TV script.

So here goes:

Scene opens with PC and Mac standing there beside each other.

PC: I’m a PC.

Mac: And I’m a Mac.

PC: Hey Mac, you’ve got something on your face.

PC indicates a spot on his face.
Mac rubs his face. A huge scratch stretches across his face.

PC: Umm, Mac, you just scratched your face.

Mac: No I didn’t.

PC: Yes, I think you did.

PC’s leg falls off, then explodes.

Mac rolls his eyes at camera.

Mac (smug): I don’t explode, or crash.

Mac’s leg explodes, but he doesn’t notice. Mac closes eyes and lies down on the ground.

PC: Wake up Mac!

Mac opens eyes and stands up.

Mac: I wasn’t sleeping.

Steve Jobs comes on

Steve Jobs (smugly, but that is how he always talks): Macs are the best computers. Much better than PCs.

Mac starts to glow a bright orangy colour

Steve Jobs (still smugly): Macs are the best computers. Much better than PCs.

Steve Jobs’ hair catches fire.

Steve Jobs (even more smugly): I’ll bet you wish your hair was on fire.

Aaaaand Scene. Okay, that was fun. I’m not a PC zealot and I would love to own a Mac (though I’m waiting for their quality issues to pass before paying the premium prices Apple charges). I ordered a new PC the other day, and I got some really good quality parts. Windows XP is very stable, and I haven’t had a virus in the last 8 years or so. So I don’t know what the fuss is about.

I think Apple is spreading a lot of FUD with their ads, while at the same time taking a long time owning up to the problems that arise in their own hardware.

While Dell doesn’t make really awesome hardware, they at least own up to the issues in their hardware fairly quickly.